It's been a very long time my friends. Life has been busy busy, and I feel somewhat bad that my blog got neglected for the past month or so. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm what to write....
Let's talk about my performance life. It's been fantastic - I've had either concerts or recitals at least once a week. I'm very blessed to be able to eat up the musical lifestyle. Yum. For a time in my life I wasn't sure if music was what I really wanted to do with my life. I was seriously debating switching my major (to who knows what) or just dropping out to go to cosmetology school. That would've been a mistake. After some soul searching, I rekindled my passion for music so I feel can finally feel content with where I am right now.
I'm thankful to be happy with my life. I also went through a rough patch in which I felt like my life wasn't progressing. I was unhappy and felt as if I had no direction. But, after a lovely talk with my amazing Bishop, the fog I was living in felt lifted. I just needed to see the bigger picture.
Boys? Oh boys. I have four best best friends (or brothers rather) that fill my days with laughter. I love each of them so much, but I know that someday they all can't be my best friends. When I'm all old and married I want my husband to be my best friend. No offense to the boys, but you all can't be my husbands unless polyandry is brought to the United States. Even then it'd still be icky. Other than all of my brothers, I do still like other guys too. I finally met someone that gives me hope for the future, makes me want to try harder, and I feel more like myself whenever we talk than when I talk to anyone else. I like those feelings :)
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Learning Experiences
So I've realized that my blog has turned into my personal-gossip column. With myself. So be it I guess.
It's interesting to see how much I've learned about myself in the past week alone. It mainly started last wednesday when I was practically forced to face myself honestly, and admit that I have a poor self-image and that one of my biggest priorities right now is to learn to love myself now. So I spent around five hours that night reminding myself why I am the way that I am, that the person who I am is a person that is worthwhile, and that the Lord loves me. (That involved candles, Christmas lights, the scriptures, and love notes from parents and friends.) I highly recommend spending a little time to get to know yourself again.
I found out the next day that the afore mentioned A-Train has a "thing" for a dear friend of mine. I then learned that I have a hard time letting go, but once I've let go, I'm usually alright.
General Conference goes by, and I learned (or remembered rather), that the Gospel is the most uplifting thing in my life and my best source for happiness.
Now for those who don't know, I'm a fast mover. I like to be liking someone. And now that I've almost completely let go of A-Train, my back-up option has moved to slot number 1. So on wednesday, (as in three days ago), we went on a date. It was one of the best, if not greatest, date of my life. I fell, and I fell hard. Harder than all of the other times that is. I learned that I was able to actually picture myself with someone, I was able to be myself with someone, and we were happy. After every time that I see him, I always think to myself "I want to marry someone like that."
So today I hung out with him before our class started, all was peachy and as great as I remembered. After class, I see him talking to a friend of mine from high school. I heard him ask her what she was doing tonight. After seeing the look on my face, a friend of mine decided to be my spy and listen to the rest of the conversation. He got her phone number, address, and they had made plans for the night.
What did I learn from that? I get hurt easily. I probably don't read people very well. I instantly started comparing myself to the other girl, and my recently built up self esteem faltered.
My friends consoled me, told me that he was simply "trying on other pairs of shoes," and that he could very likely still be interested in me even though he asked my friend out.
But I don't feel much better. I fell practically in love in around a week and a half. I was practically destroyed within minutes.
Interesting how life plays out sometimes.
It's interesting to see how much I've learned about myself in the past week alone. It mainly started last wednesday when I was practically forced to face myself honestly, and admit that I have a poor self-image and that one of my biggest priorities right now is to learn to love myself now. So I spent around five hours that night reminding myself why I am the way that I am, that the person who I am is a person that is worthwhile, and that the Lord loves me. (That involved candles, Christmas lights, the scriptures, and love notes from parents and friends.) I highly recommend spending a little time to get to know yourself again.
I found out the next day that the afore mentioned A-Train has a "thing" for a dear friend of mine. I then learned that I have a hard time letting go, but once I've let go, I'm usually alright.
General Conference goes by, and I learned (or remembered rather), that the Gospel is the most uplifting thing in my life and my best source for happiness.
Now for those who don't know, I'm a fast mover. I like to be liking someone. And now that I've almost completely let go of A-Train, my back-up option has moved to slot number 1. So on wednesday, (as in three days ago), we went on a date. It was one of the best, if not greatest, date of my life. I fell, and I fell hard. Harder than all of the other times that is. I learned that I was able to actually picture myself with someone, I was able to be myself with someone, and we were happy. After every time that I see him, I always think to myself "I want to marry someone like that."
So today I hung out with him before our class started, all was peachy and as great as I remembered. After class, I see him talking to a friend of mine from high school. I heard him ask her what she was doing tonight. After seeing the look on my face, a friend of mine decided to be my spy and listen to the rest of the conversation. He got her phone number, address, and they had made plans for the night.
What did I learn from that? I get hurt easily. I probably don't read people very well. I instantly started comparing myself to the other girl, and my recently built up self esteem faltered.
My friends consoled me, told me that he was simply "trying on other pairs of shoes," and that he could very likely still be interested in me even though he asked my friend out.
But I don't feel much better. I fell practically in love in around a week and a half. I was practically destroyed within minutes.
Interesting how life plays out sometimes.
Monday, September 26, 2011
More-Or-Less
Alright children, it's time for story time again. Worry not, I'll make this one somewhat brief.
So every time I see A-Train I blush really bad, mince my words, and make an idiot of myself. Awesome. Not the point though. There is another certain some one who I've known for a couple of months now that has me confused. For the sake of blogging, we'll call him Mr. More-or-Less.
About a month ago Mr. More-or-Less attempted to take me on a date. It was somewhat horrific. Ok, horrific wasn't a nice way to put it. On the list of worst dates ever, it wasn't all that terrible. But it wasn't all that great either. We kind of stop talking and hanging out as much afterwards. No skin off my back.
But then yesterday, out of the blue, he texts me and says "I think we need to spend more time together. I've missed you." Hmmm. Interesting. Either this man is lonely and thinks I'm desperate, or he's finally come to his senses. What the hey. I said "Sure, if you'd really like to try again."
Now he always wants to find excuses to spend time with me. I graced him with my presence tonight, and it was actually somewhat fun. We ate unhealthy things and then swung on the tallest swing-set I've ever seen in my life.
Problem? 1. I think a recently close friend of mine likes him too. (On the other hand, that's never really stopped me before, but this leads me into the next problem...) 2. A-Train. I think I like A-Train enough to not bother with Mr. More-or-Less and let the friend have him. 3. I think Mr. More-or-Less might like me more than I know.
Solution? No clue. But so far, I'm in favor of A-Train. I'll keep y'all posted though, don't worry. I have a concert on thursday and I'm out-of-my-skin excited to see A-Train in a Tux. Foreshadowing? I sure hope so :)
So every time I see A-Train I blush really bad, mince my words, and make an idiot of myself. Awesome. Not the point though. There is another certain some one who I've known for a couple of months now that has me confused. For the sake of blogging, we'll call him Mr. More-or-Less.
About a month ago Mr. More-or-Less attempted to take me on a date. It was somewhat horrific. Ok, horrific wasn't a nice way to put it. On the list of worst dates ever, it wasn't all that terrible. But it wasn't all that great either. We kind of stop talking and hanging out as much afterwards. No skin off my back.
But then yesterday, out of the blue, he texts me and says "I think we need to spend more time together. I've missed you." Hmmm. Interesting. Either this man is lonely and thinks I'm desperate, or he's finally come to his senses. What the hey. I said "Sure, if you'd really like to try again."
Now he always wants to find excuses to spend time with me. I graced him with my presence tonight, and it was actually somewhat fun. We ate unhealthy things and then swung on the tallest swing-set I've ever seen in my life.
Problem? 1. I think a recently close friend of mine likes him too. (On the other hand, that's never really stopped me before, but this leads me into the next problem...) 2. A-Train. I think I like A-Train enough to not bother with Mr. More-or-Less and let the friend have him. 3. I think Mr. More-or-Less might like me more than I know.
Solution? No clue. But so far, I'm in favor of A-Train. I'll keep y'all posted though, don't worry. I have a concert on thursday and I'm out-of-my-skin excited to see A-Train in a Tux. Foreshadowing? I sure hope so :)
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Party Barn?
It's that time again guys. It's time to tell you all about what's happened recently in the realm of boys and singing. (Man, this is like all my life consists of lately...)
So last night was Masterworks Chorale Retreat. We went up to the Party Barn in Mapleton, and boy, it was a party alright. (I spent a good portion of that afternoon beautifying myself just so I'd look super adorable because a certain someone would be there. Dumb but worth it.) The first thing we did when we all got up to the barn was eat. So I ate whatever I wanted. Boy it felt good. :D Then my friend and I decided to go for a lovely little stroll since there was a lake, deck, and canoes outback. Everyone else eventually followed. We then decided to take out one of the canoes, which was indeed a wise choice. That's when it started.
A certain highly attractive man whom I've mentioned before on this magical blog came into my life more prominently. For the sake of sake's, let's call him A-Train. (Not like that's his nickname or anything...) While M and I (Oooh look! Another nickname. I'm good at this.) were lingering on our canoe, A-Train had put on his swimsuit and asked for a ride over to the rope swing. Of course we obliged. Mmmmm I will forever love that rope swing, if ya know what I'm sayin'.
So then we actually started singing. In one of our pieces A-Train has a solo, which makes my life happy. Our director had us go in the loft to sing and we got to stand next to whomever we wanted. So naturally, I stood next to the soloist. That was an amazing moment. Not only does he got the looks, but he's got the voice too. Not too shabby so far.
Then we decided to play games as a choir. That was a blast! I sat next to my buddies All-Back, Uncle Joe, and A-Train of course. Yes, those names were all coded. You're Welcome. During the game there was a moment when just A-Train and I had act out an adverb. That was interesting... We soon after promised each other to never act in such a manner again.
Then we ate cake. Yum. Get ready guys, the sad part is coming up soon. Tissues in hand? K good, I'll continue.
This is when the big group split to do various activities. It was dark out, and the stars were amazing. So my adopted brother, Bear, and I decided to take out the canoes again. Yes, I do realize that I just said Brother Bear. That canoe ride was one of the best experiences of my life. We talked about our lives, our feelings, and then we sang in Italian together while the reflection in the lake shone brightly and a bonfire was only a few feet off. Beautiful. Yet part of me wished that I could share this moment with another special someone. So Brother Bear and I left and canoe to join the others at the campfire. A-Train was preoccupied with the guitar (Handsome: Check. Voice: Check. Guitar?! Too good to be true) so I waited a little while. I sang while he sang and played the song "Lucky" which is one of my favorites. Check. While A-Train was guitaring it up, I was chatting with a lovely soprano friend of mine, and that's when I realized that not only do I have a mongo-big crush on A-Train, but so do like half of the other girls in the choir. Great. They're all amazing and beautiful and stuff. :( I felt a bit discouraged. And by a bit, I mean a lot.
Now brace yourselves.
When A-Train was done with the guitar I went up to him and said "Hey, when one of the canoes is open, do you wanna go out on the lake?"
"Sure, that sounds like fun." He replied handsomely.
So we waited only like two minutes for someone to surrender a canoe. Then, right as I was about to get him and tell him there was a canoe open, my carpool says that we're leaving.
LAME!!!!!!!
A-Train was like "It's okay, I'm feelin' kinda bushed anyways." :( :( :( :( :(
So we left. And that was it.
So last night was Masterworks Chorale Retreat. We went up to the Party Barn in Mapleton, and boy, it was a party alright. (I spent a good portion of that afternoon beautifying myself just so I'd look super adorable because a certain someone would be there. Dumb but worth it.) The first thing we did when we all got up to the barn was eat. So I ate whatever I wanted. Boy it felt good. :D Then my friend and I decided to go for a lovely little stroll since there was a lake, deck, and canoes outback. Everyone else eventually followed. We then decided to take out one of the canoes, which was indeed a wise choice. That's when it started.
A certain highly attractive man whom I've mentioned before on this magical blog came into my life more prominently. For the sake of sake's, let's call him A-Train. (Not like that's his nickname or anything...) While M and I (Oooh look! Another nickname. I'm good at this.) were lingering on our canoe, A-Train had put on his swimsuit and asked for a ride over to the rope swing. Of course we obliged. Mmmmm I will forever love that rope swing, if ya know what I'm sayin'.
So then we actually started singing. In one of our pieces A-Train has a solo, which makes my life happy. Our director had us go in the loft to sing and we got to stand next to whomever we wanted. So naturally, I stood next to the soloist. That was an amazing moment. Not only does he got the looks, but he's got the voice too. Not too shabby so far.
Then we decided to play games as a choir. That was a blast! I sat next to my buddies All-Back, Uncle Joe, and A-Train of course. Yes, those names were all coded. You're Welcome. During the game there was a moment when just A-Train and I had act out an adverb. That was interesting... We soon after promised each other to never act in such a manner again.
Then we ate cake. Yum. Get ready guys, the sad part is coming up soon. Tissues in hand? K good, I'll continue.
This is when the big group split to do various activities. It was dark out, and the stars were amazing. So my adopted brother, Bear, and I decided to take out the canoes again. Yes, I do realize that I just said Brother Bear. That canoe ride was one of the best experiences of my life. We talked about our lives, our feelings, and then we sang in Italian together while the reflection in the lake shone brightly and a bonfire was only a few feet off. Beautiful. Yet part of me wished that I could share this moment with another special someone. So Brother Bear and I left and canoe to join the others at the campfire. A-Train was preoccupied with the guitar (Handsome: Check. Voice: Check. Guitar?! Too good to be true) so I waited a little while. I sang while he sang and played the song "Lucky" which is one of my favorites. Check. While A-Train was guitaring it up, I was chatting with a lovely soprano friend of mine, and that's when I realized that not only do I have a mongo-big crush on A-Train, but so do like half of the other girls in the choir. Great. They're all amazing and beautiful and stuff. :( I felt a bit discouraged. And by a bit, I mean a lot.
Now brace yourselves.
When A-Train was done with the guitar I went up to him and said "Hey, when one of the canoes is open, do you wanna go out on the lake?"
"Sure, that sounds like fun." He replied handsomely.
So we waited only like two minutes for someone to surrender a canoe. Then, right as I was about to get him and tell him there was a canoe open, my carpool says that we're leaving.
LAME!!!!!!!
A-Train was like "It's okay, I'm feelin' kinda bushed anyways." :( :( :( :( :(
So we left. And that was it.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Why I'm a Happy Little Camper
I slightly altered the name of my blog. It is currently: Awake, Love, Sing! Why? Oh, I'll tell ya why.
Awake:
Sometimes I need to remind myself to wake up every morning. But most of the time, I need to remind myself to be fully awake during class and/or throughout my ever-tiring days.
Love:
Let's be serious, most of my blog discusses my love life or just love in general. I figured it was about time to add love into the title because it is such an important part of my life. Worry not, we'll retouch this subject shortly.
Sing:
I am constantly singing. Whether I make sound with my throat or if the music just plays on in my heart, it will always be one of the biggest parts of me. How can I keep from Singing?
So back to the love portion. I found me a new man to lavish my pretended affections upon. Is he attractive? Definitely. Can he sing? Ahhhhh yeah. Is he like one of the most amazing people ever? Heck YES! Am I a little obsessed? Probably. Is it a little unhealthy? Probably more so. Do I care? OF COURSE NOT! :DDDDDDDDDD I'm a happy little camper alright :)
Awake:
Sometimes I need to remind myself to wake up every morning. But most of the time, I need to remind myself to be fully awake during class and/or throughout my ever-tiring days.
Love:
Let's be serious, most of my blog discusses my love life or just love in general. I figured it was about time to add love into the title because it is such an important part of my life. Worry not, we'll retouch this subject shortly.
Sing:
I am constantly singing. Whether I make sound with my throat or if the music just plays on in my heart, it will always be one of the biggest parts of me. How can I keep from Singing?
So back to the love portion. I found me a new man to lavish my pretended affections upon. Is he attractive? Definitely. Can he sing? Ahhhhh yeah. Is he like one of the most amazing people ever? Heck YES! Am I a little obsessed? Probably. Is it a little unhealthy? Probably more so. Do I care? OF COURSE NOT! :DDDDDDDDDD I'm a happy little camper alright :)
Friday, September 2, 2011
Ich bin schrecklich prep Deutsch
Wie geht's Welt?! (What's up World?!)
Ich sprachen Deutsch. Ein wenig. (I'm speaking German.) (Somewhat.)
Ok just kidding, I suck at German. But hey, give it time, it's only been a week! Speaking of week, this past one was my first week of the Fall Semester. How did it go, you ask? Well my friends, you just opened a huge can of worms. Ein wenig.
My classes are not that terrible actually. I've dropped a couple since the semester's started, but that's because they were stupid. My quest for finishing a four year degree in three years might not happen... It'll probably end up being more like five years. I have friends in all of my classes (except my 11 o'clock institute class, which I ended up missing anyways). I liked to be stretched and I'm hoping to be able to excel in classes.
Now on to the fun part. Boys. ;)
No one's allowed to judge me for this, but I keep a list of boys that I'm interested in and I update it almost weekly. It's practical for me because this way I keep my options open, I'm not super obsessed with one person, and if one of them hurts me they just get bumped off the list and replaced with someone else. Nothing's really happened this week in the realm of dating except meeting new guys and hanging out with some guys from the list. Someday I won't need a list anymore and I'll find the man I'm supposed to be with forever and ever. But for now, the list will suffice to cure the loneliness :)
I don't really know what to talk about anymore so this must be the end of my post. Wish me luck on my new semester! Gute nacht meine freunds!
Ich sprachen Deutsch. Ein wenig. (I'm speaking German.) (Somewhat.)
Ok just kidding, I suck at German. But hey, give it time, it's only been a week! Speaking of week, this past one was my first week of the Fall Semester. How did it go, you ask? Well my friends, you just opened a huge can of worms. Ein wenig.
My classes are not that terrible actually. I've dropped a couple since the semester's started, but that's because they were stupid. My quest for finishing a four year degree in three years might not happen... It'll probably end up being more like five years. I have friends in all of my classes (except my 11 o'clock institute class, which I ended up missing anyways). I liked to be stretched and I'm hoping to be able to excel in classes.
Now on to the fun part. Boys. ;)
No one's allowed to judge me for this, but I keep a list of boys that I'm interested in and I update it almost weekly. It's practical for me because this way I keep my options open, I'm not super obsessed with one person, and if one of them hurts me they just get bumped off the list and replaced with someone else. Nothing's really happened this week in the realm of dating except meeting new guys and hanging out with some guys from the list. Someday I won't need a list anymore and I'll find the man I'm supposed to be with forever and ever. But for now, the list will suffice to cure the loneliness :)
I don't really know what to talk about anymore so this must be the end of my post. Wish me luck on my new semester! Gute nacht meine freunds!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Party! Party! PARTY!
I had the house all to myself last night, my parents and little sisters decided to go play in Park City for the evening. I was determined not to be all alone this time, as I was when the afore mentioned members of the family went camping. So all day long I scoured through all of my friends (even some people that aren't my friends) to find someone to hang out with tonight. I found only one. And a half - he didn't get off work until 9:30ish.
So I wait for my beloved friend to be ready, and while I'm waiting I decided to stuff myself with some yummy Costa Vida. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. My bestie is then finally ready to play around 8 p.m. so we go up the canyon a little and took a small hike (Small for him, incredibly strenuous for me). What a lovely walk we had, it was so nice to be able to catch up with such a good friend while buggies flew up my shirt and I almost died.
Around 9ish we came back to the beginning of the trail when we mutually decided that he needed food. So where else would we go other than JCW's?!
That was when our other dear friend came and we all caught up with one another while partaking of the happiness that is JCW's. I took my friend home, managed to get myself lost in downtown Provo (which was absolutely dumb because I only had to turn once to find my way back to state street yet I missed it!), and took myself back to my empty house.
So naturally, in an empty house around midnight, any self-respecting music major would turn up the electric piano as high as possible and play to their heart's content. That's just what I did of course.
About an hour later I had my own personal dance party, then I took the longest bubble bath I've ever taken since I was just a wee lass. Around 2 a.m. I decided I was hungry again, so I made myself some Spongebob Squarepants Macaroni and Cheese (thank goodness those Kraft people are smart and made the packet that contains the cheese powder water-proof, because I totally dumped it into my boiling water - the time must've gotten to my head). Around 2:30ish blow-dried my lucious locks, and around 3 a.m. watch the Romantic Comedy of my choice.
Thank goodness I didn't have anything going on early in the morning. This will probably never happen again, so I'm way glad I took advantage of it!
So I wait for my beloved friend to be ready, and while I'm waiting I decided to stuff myself with some yummy Costa Vida. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. My bestie is then finally ready to play around 8 p.m. so we go up the canyon a little and took a small hike (Small for him, incredibly strenuous for me). What a lovely walk we had, it was so nice to be able to catch up with such a good friend while buggies flew up my shirt and I almost died.
Around 9ish we came back to the beginning of the trail when we mutually decided that he needed food. So where else would we go other than JCW's?!
That was when our other dear friend came and we all caught up with one another while partaking of the happiness that is JCW's. I took my friend home, managed to get myself lost in downtown Provo (which was absolutely dumb because I only had to turn once to find my way back to state street yet I missed it!), and took myself back to my empty house.
So naturally, in an empty house around midnight, any self-respecting music major would turn up the electric piano as high as possible and play to their heart's content. That's just what I did of course.
About an hour later I had my own personal dance party, then I took the longest bubble bath I've ever taken since I was just a wee lass. Around 2 a.m. I decided I was hungry again, so I made myself some Spongebob Squarepants Macaroni and Cheese (thank goodness those Kraft people are smart and made the packet that contains the cheese powder water-proof, because I totally dumped it into my boiling water - the time must've gotten to my head). Around 2:30ish blow-dried my lucious locks, and around 3 a.m. watch the Romantic Comedy of my choice.
Thank goodness I didn't have anything going on early in the morning. This will probably never happen again, so I'm way glad I took advantage of it!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
A Moment in Time
There is a moment - an indescribable moment to say the least - that almost every person will encounter at least once in their lifetime. Some people will confront this moment only once or twice, others will encounter it more times than they can count on all of their indigenous phalanges - I am becoming one of those people, slowly but surely.
This moment I speak of is the point in time when an individual realizes that they have "feelings for" and/or a small "crush" on someone. I don't mean to mislead, usually signs occur which people can read within themselves that tell them that they may or may not be secretly dreaming of more than a friendship from a certain someone, but the moment that I am referring to is that of self-realization and acceptance. Someone might spend a good portion of their time with a person, think about them more often than usual, maybe even casually "check them out" when they know the other party isn't watching.
Nevertheless, every person going through these stages will eventually hit a fork in the road, the time to make a decision of progressing with the feelings they've been keeping to themselves OR to give up and move on. Depending on the person, the subject can side with one or two of the following three categories: What their Heart Says, What their Brain Says, and What Other People Say.
What the Heart Says:
Almost indefinitely, people who are more emotionally-driven will side with what their Heart tells them to do. This is not a bad thing, per say, but will often lead to the most "heart break" since the heart is the most involved. But heart break is somewhat of a relative term. It matters entirely on the person and how much leeway they allow their heart to have. Some people are so emotionally-driven that a broken heart will lead to weeks or months of depression and varied amounts of Haagen-Dazs Dark Chocolate or White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Ice Creams. It really sucks if they're lactose-intolerant.
What the Brain Says:
People who a problem solvers, analytic, and possibly take special interest in math will often side with their Brains. Which is a very smart way to look at it (excuse the pun). I myself admire people who will do what seems reasonable, but I can't help but think of the longing and sense of loss that comes from not following their emotional center, i.e. their Heart.
What Other People Say:
I do not have much to say on the matter, other than advice for people who only do things because of what others say. Find some freedom to make your own choices. Other people may be able to sway your decisions, but they are not the ones who will have to deal with the consequences.
Although you could listen to any of these sources, there is still no guarantee that one way is correct and that a certain way will be any less painful or give better results.
So when you come to the moment that you finally accept the fact that you have feelings for someone, make your choice and then be happy with it. You cannot change the past, but the choices you make now will affect the future.
This moment I speak of is the point in time when an individual realizes that they have "feelings for" and/or a small "crush" on someone. I don't mean to mislead, usually signs occur which people can read within themselves that tell them that they may or may not be secretly dreaming of more than a friendship from a certain someone, but the moment that I am referring to is that of self-realization and acceptance. Someone might spend a good portion of their time with a person, think about them more often than usual, maybe even casually "check them out" when they know the other party isn't watching.
Nevertheless, every person going through these stages will eventually hit a fork in the road, the time to make a decision of progressing with the feelings they've been keeping to themselves OR to give up and move on. Depending on the person, the subject can side with one or two of the following three categories: What their Heart Says, What their Brain Says, and What Other People Say.
What the Heart Says:
Almost indefinitely, people who are more emotionally-driven will side with what their Heart tells them to do. This is not a bad thing, per say, but will often lead to the most "heart break" since the heart is the most involved. But heart break is somewhat of a relative term. It matters entirely on the person and how much leeway they allow their heart to have. Some people are so emotionally-driven that a broken heart will lead to weeks or months of depression and varied amounts of Haagen-Dazs Dark Chocolate or White Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Ice Creams. It really sucks if they're lactose-intolerant.
What the Brain Says:
People who a problem solvers, analytic, and possibly take special interest in math will often side with their Brains. Which is a very smart way to look at it (excuse the pun). I myself admire people who will do what seems reasonable, but I can't help but think of the longing and sense of loss that comes from not following their emotional center, i.e. their Heart.
What Other People Say:
I do not have much to say on the matter, other than advice for people who only do things because of what others say. Find some freedom to make your own choices. Other people may be able to sway your decisions, but they are not the ones who will have to deal with the consequences.
Although you could listen to any of these sources, there is still no guarantee that one way is correct and that a certain way will be any less painful or give better results.
So when you come to the moment that you finally accept the fact that you have feelings for someone, make your choice and then be happy with it. You cannot change the past, but the choices you make now will affect the future.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Adventures in the Realm of Baking
So it's my father's birthday today! My mother made a risky choice by asking me to make his cake for him, and I honestly feel that she must be absolutely desperate if she needed me to make it in her place. My last cake experience was not a pleasant one, I tried to frost a pre-made cake that my friend brought to school for another friend's birthday. I am terrrrrrible when it comes to cake decorating. Exhibit A:
Okay, so it's not the prettiest cake ever... But it's ten times better than my last cake! Improvement Achieved. Happy Birthday Pops!
Sad face because of the ugliness:
It's pretty bad, isn't it? Might just be the ugliest and saddest-looking cake ever. Nevertheless, I am determined to redeem myself. So far all of the ingredients are in the mixer. Nothing has caught on fire quite yet.
Into the pan, yes, I did make sure to grease it.
Out of the oven, a little bit burnt...
And now all I have left is to frost the dang thing! Which is always the worst part... Ooh, a couple of clumps of crumbs and frosting on the edge there.
But Dad will love it anyways. He's a guy, he don't care what it looks like!
Okay, so it's not the prettiest cake ever... But it's ten times better than my last cake! Improvement Achieved. Happy Birthday Pops!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Pros and Cons
So I'm conflicted at the moment, and would like to take this opportunity to formally address pros and cons that placate my current occupation statuses.
I just barely begun working at a place named Response Marketing. Yes, as the name so vaguely puts it, I work in a call center as a telemarketer. Glamorous, isn't it? I've only been working there for two days, and I am already past the point of misery. Alas, the point of misery is not a point of no return (please excuse the Phantom of the Opera reference).
As I was driving home from work today, my second painful day of what seemed to be many more painful days to come, I receive a voicemail from David's Bridal offering me an interview for a Sales Consultant position. For those who do not know, this is pretty much my dream job. I've always wanted to work in the Bridal Industry and wanted to help women find their inner beauty through an outward ramification of their potential found in layers of white chiffon or satin.
My Dilemma: The interview for the dream job at David's Bridal is at the same time my shift starts on Friday.
So I told David's Bridal that I would be at the interview.
Here are the pros and cons, and my innermost thoughts regarding the situation:
Pros:
-I could get the job of my dreams
-I could make more money than I do at Response Marketing
-I could escape the jaws of Hell, i.e. telemarketing, and not be screamed at by angry old ladies everyday.
Cons:
-I would have to quit the current job as a telemarketer, and if I did not get the job at David's, be out of work and practically penniless.
-The main reason I got a job was to be able to start saving funds for a mission, and if I end up jobless, I may have to put off a mission.
Is my current happiness going to in fact affect happiness further down the road? Should I give up something "good" for the chance of receiving something much better? Nevertheless, I already agreed to the interview on Friday, and unless I can convince my current boss to give me that time off, I sacrifice the telemarketing job just to be considered at David's Bridal. I hope all works out well.
I just barely begun working at a place named Response Marketing. Yes, as the name so vaguely puts it, I work in a call center as a telemarketer. Glamorous, isn't it? I've only been working there for two days, and I am already past the point of misery. Alas, the point of misery is not a point of no return (please excuse the Phantom of the Opera reference).
As I was driving home from work today, my second painful day of what seemed to be many more painful days to come, I receive a voicemail from David's Bridal offering me an interview for a Sales Consultant position. For those who do not know, this is pretty much my dream job. I've always wanted to work in the Bridal Industry and wanted to help women find their inner beauty through an outward ramification of their potential found in layers of white chiffon or satin.
My Dilemma: The interview for the dream job at David's Bridal is at the same time my shift starts on Friday.
So I told David's Bridal that I would be at the interview.
Here are the pros and cons, and my innermost thoughts regarding the situation:
Pros:
-I could get the job of my dreams
-I could make more money than I do at Response Marketing
-I could escape the jaws of Hell, i.e. telemarketing, and not be screamed at by angry old ladies everyday.
Cons:
-I would have to quit the current job as a telemarketer, and if I did not get the job at David's, be out of work and practically penniless.
-The main reason I got a job was to be able to start saving funds for a mission, and if I end up jobless, I may have to put off a mission.
Is my current happiness going to in fact affect happiness further down the road? Should I give up something "good" for the chance of receiving something much better? Nevertheless, I already agreed to the interview on Friday, and unless I can convince my current boss to give me that time off, I sacrifice the telemarketing job just to be considered at David's Bridal. I hope all works out well.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Blessings
It's been a long and hard summer for my family and I. Yet the Lord seems to rain little pieces of magic into every day of my life that makes me grateful for the hard times, and hopeful for the good times to come.
This past weekend I had my Aunts come up from Texas (well, my mom's aunts rather). These lovely ladies are sisters to my Grandmother, who was a great friend and grandparent to me when I was young. Each minute I got to see and spend time with my aunts (and my aunt Elise's husband, Cecil) I was reminded of how great my grandmother was and how I long to be like her and to be able to see her again. I don't remember her well since it's been more than eight years since her passing, but I still remember her loving eyes, her warm voice, and the great influence she was to my mother and family.
I don't get to see my family very much, and it meant a lot to me that my Aunts could come and see us to remind me of their love for me. I'll never forget how excited each of them were to see me and the faith and love that radiated from their voices as they sang to us.
It meant so much to my family to have y'all here, but I wanted to thank you because of the impact it had on me. Love you :)
This past weekend I had my Aunts come up from Texas (well, my mom's aunts rather). These lovely ladies are sisters to my Grandmother, who was a great friend and grandparent to me when I was young. Each minute I got to see and spend time with my aunts (and my aunt Elise's husband, Cecil) I was reminded of how great my grandmother was and how I long to be like her and to be able to see her again. I don't remember her well since it's been more than eight years since her passing, but I still remember her loving eyes, her warm voice, and the great influence she was to my mother and family.
I don't get to see my family very much, and it meant a lot to me that my Aunts could come and see us to remind me of their love for me. I'll never forget how excited each of them were to see me and the faith and love that radiated from their voices as they sang to us.
It meant so much to my family to have y'all here, but I wanted to thank you because of the impact it had on me. Love you :)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
I've Come to Realize
Even though an amazing feeling comes from gaining a new friend, it can never quite level out the pain that comes with loosing your best friend.
Be honest and upfront with people, but don't make painful accusations that will push them away.
I realize that I pushed my best friend away, and that it's my fault because I really hurt one of the most important people in my life.
I realize that this should not have happened, but only happened because I was foolish.
I realize that I might not ever get you back again because of my actions.
I realize a lot of things about this situation, but most of all:
I realize that I'm sorrier than I've ever been, that I've wanted to take back every single word that I've said to you today ever since the moment they crossed my lips, and that I'll miss being able to call one of the greatest people on this planet my best friend.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh
It's so refreshing just talking to someone.
There are so many amazing people in this world, and I probably know the most amazing people out there.
Shout outs!
-My familia... what more can I say? Angels, all of them.
-My Society Of Foxy Female friends... My girls are always there for me :)
-My amazing amazing best friends. I've gotten so close to each of them, and they're all such awesome people I can't even handle it!
-All of the other people I know! I honestly don't think that I dislike anyone right now.
Advice for people wanting a new friend:
1. Find a potential friend.
2. Sit down and talk to said potential friend.
3. Be yourself.
BAM!!!!!!
That person is probably (hopefully) your friend now.
This works. Now everyone go make a new friend! It's a great, refreshing feeling :)
There are so many amazing people in this world, and I probably know the most amazing people out there.
Shout outs!
-My familia... what more can I say? Angels, all of them.
-My Society Of Foxy Female friends... My girls are always there for me :)
-My amazing amazing best friends. I've gotten so close to each of them, and they're all such awesome people I can't even handle it!
-All of the other people I know! I honestly don't think that I dislike anyone right now.
Advice for people wanting a new friend:
1. Find a potential friend.
2. Sit down and talk to said potential friend.
3. Be yourself.
BAM!!!!!!
That person is probably (hopefully) your friend now.
This works. Now everyone go make a new friend! It's a great, refreshing feeling :)
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Secret Love Affair
Nothing quite like a duet between Cecilia Bartoli and Bryn Terfel.
Or a bubble bath, many alit candles, and an old EFY CD for that matter.
If you'd like to become addicted to the amazingly glorious voice of Bryn like I am, click HERE!
Just to add a bit more happiness to your life.
But this is not the reason why we are here.
We are here, once again, because of my confusion. Why I can never seem to write a post where I am not confused about life or boys, I do not understand. I guess I just don't know what I want anymore.
Don't get me wrong dear friends, I am perfectly happy on my own. That is a trait that has taken awhile to develop, but I can finally say I am perfectly happy without a man. But that doesn't mean I still don't want one.
With all of the things that have been going on with my family lately, I'm surprised at myself. But there are several boys on my list (do not worry! It's a good list, not a hit list). Apparently the main problem is that I cannot seem to figure out where each person falls on the list. Hence my confusion, stress, and need for the soothingly sensuous voice of my beloved Bryn Terfel.
It will take some time and developments for me to fully understand my list and therefore my heart, so until then I will: take more bubble baths, listen/fall in love with Bryn some more, reread the twilight series for the fourth time (my books that I read when I'm lonely and bored), and eat as much chocolate and peanut butter as my little heart desires.
Amen.
Post Script: If you have not figured it out yet, the secret love affair is between myself, Bryn Terfel, Bubble baths, candles, peanut butter, chocolate, and Twilight. Catching hook right?
Or a bubble bath, many alit candles, and an old EFY CD for that matter.
If you'd like to become addicted to the amazingly glorious voice of Bryn like I am, click HERE!
Just to add a bit more happiness to your life.
But this is not the reason why we are here.
We are here, once again, because of my confusion. Why I can never seem to write a post where I am not confused about life or boys, I do not understand. I guess I just don't know what I want anymore.
Don't get me wrong dear friends, I am perfectly happy on my own. That is a trait that has taken awhile to develop, but I can finally say I am perfectly happy without a man. But that doesn't mean I still don't want one.
With all of the things that have been going on with my family lately, I'm surprised at myself. But there are several boys on my list (do not worry! It's a good list, not a hit list). Apparently the main problem is that I cannot seem to figure out where each person falls on the list. Hence my confusion, stress, and need for the soothingly sensuous voice of my beloved Bryn Terfel.
It will take some time and developments for me to fully understand my list and therefore my heart, so until then I will: take more bubble baths, listen/fall in love with Bryn some more, reread the twilight series for the fourth time (my books that I read when I'm lonely and bored), and eat as much chocolate and peanut butter as my little heart desires.
Amen.
Post Script: If you have not figured it out yet, the secret love affair is between myself, Bryn Terfel, Bubble baths, candles, peanut butter, chocolate, and Twilight. Catching hook right?
Monday, June 6, 2011
To Make Decisions:
I'm usually a pretty optimistic person. But today I'm just so thrown off I don't know what to do with myself! A note to all you people out there (which I'm assuming is not too many people) that are looking to make a decision anytime soon:
1. The heart wants things for reasons that reason cannot understand. If your heart is telling you it wants something, don't ignore it! That'd be stupid.
2. Decide what you're going to do and then do it! So what if it's hard? No good thing will ever be great if it is not worked for.
3. There are people that love you no matter what, so make choices because you want to make them.
4. Pray before you do something that scares you.
5. Live with the choice you made. It might suck now, but it's bound to get better eventually. Especially if there is any form of chocolate around (preferably peanut butter m&ms).
1. The heart wants things for reasons that reason cannot understand. If your heart is telling you it wants something, don't ignore it! That'd be stupid.
2. Decide what you're going to do and then do it! So what if it's hard? No good thing will ever be great if it is not worked for.
3. There are people that love you no matter what, so make choices because you want to make them.
4. Pray before you do something that scares you.
5. Live with the choice you made. It might suck now, but it's bound to get better eventually. Especially if there is any form of chocolate around (preferably peanut butter m&ms).
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Eyes
A final Cadence lingers in the air,
Heart pounding.
Feet throbbing.
I advance to the front - why am I doing this?
I look into the audience,
See a pair of eyes
THE pair of eyes.
I've seen your eyes before.
Take in a deep breath,
fly away.
...
Post Script: Dramatic yes? I hope so. An exaggerated tale to engage the audience before stating what really happened.
I sang in Master Class today. I took on the "One Week Challenge" (i.e. learning a song and then performing it all within a week). I woke up this morning, (no, I was not feeling like P-diddy), got myself all beautiful and stuff because I knew I'd be seeing a certain somebody. It actually ended up being two somebodys. I warmed up to the best of my abilities and went toward the outside hallway of my classroom. I see him, the dreaded ex, and I feel my stomach drop. I had secretly hoped that he would not come today even though I knew he would. He'd never miss the chance to see me again.
So class starts and I'm trying my hardest not to look, not to think of him. Of course it didn't work. Couldn't help but glance over every couple of minutes. The last person before me finishes his song and I know I'm up. (Insert preferred expletive here). I walk to what feels like will be the end of my life and I give him one last glance before I start. I can do this. I wish my best friend were here, he's the one I can truly sing for. I can do this. I start my song and then mess up, of course. Start again. Mess up again. My teacher joins me to make sure I'm alright, but I am mortified.
I try to persevere through my piece and I eventually make it with the help of my teacher. At this point I'm dying. I wonder what he thinks. I wonder why I can't do this. I wish my best friend were here. At that moment I see another pair of eyes - a familiar pair that belong to my best friend. I start my song a final time and completely nail it. Huzzah!
I got many compliments but there were three that made my day:
1.) "You are amazing, I had no clue you could sing like that. Blew me away." - An amazing singer that I look up to very much.
2.) "See ya later Brandy, good job." - Ex.
3.) A high five along with a hug, "Sounded pretty good. Sorry I was late." - Bestie.
I don't need to be afraid, I don't need to stress because I love to sing!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Song Mash-Up!
So I've been listening to two songs over and over again because they both seem to match my every thought right now. So I'm gonna mash-up the lyrics to Lionel Richie's "Hello" and Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Here is my love life through mashed up lyrics!
I've been alone with you inside my mind,
and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times.
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified,
but then I see the look in your eyes.
I see it in your eyes, I see it in your smile, you're all I've ever wanted -
my arms are open wide.
You know just what to say, and you know just what to do,
and I want to tell you so much - I love you.
I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ever,
and if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever.
Your love is like a shadow on me all the time,
I don't know what to do I'm always in the dark,
I really need you tonight.
I wonder where you are, and I wonder what you do
are you somewhere feelin' lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart for I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying "I love you."
Once upon a time I was falling in love,
now I'm only falling apart.
Nothing I can do, total eclipse of the heart.
Every now and then I fall apart.
I want to tell you so much - I love you.
I've been alone with you inside my mind,
and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times.
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
Every now and then I get a little bit terrified,
but then I see the look in your eyes.
I see it in your eyes, I see it in your smile, you're all I've ever wanted -
my arms are open wide.
You know just what to say, and you know just what to do,
and I want to tell you so much - I love you.
I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ever,
and if you only hold me tight, we'll be holding on forever.
Your love is like a shadow on me all the time,
I don't know what to do I'm always in the dark,
I really need you tonight.
I wonder where you are, and I wonder what you do
are you somewhere feelin' lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart for I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying "I love you."
Once upon a time I was falling in love,
now I'm only falling apart.
Nothing I can do, total eclipse of the heart.
Every now and then I fall apart.
I want to tell you so much - I love you.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Secret Obsession/Shame
I have a secret obsession. An obsession so embarrassing that I dare not mention it to any self respecting music major, so I write it on my blog for me and friends and family only. My secret obsession is Glee. (Oh gosh I hate myself for it!) I mean don't get me wrong, most of the music makes my ears bleed. But the drama and the attractiveness of some of the characters has me hooked. It may be because I've been super lonely all week or because I have nothing else to watch, but unfortunately I really really like it.
My favorite song (The only one I'll probably listen to more than once) is the first duet that Rachel and Jesse ever sing, "Hello," originally done by Lionel Richie. Go here (hover over the word here to get the link) to hear it!
Anyways, it will always be my secret (not so secret) shame that I've watched almost 3/4 worth (soon to be all) of the Glee episodes ever made in the past 4 days. Yes. My life is this sad right now. I miss school so much!
My favorite song (The only one I'll probably listen to more than once) is the first duet that Rachel and Jesse ever sing, "Hello," originally done by Lionel Richie. Go here (hover over the word here to get the link) to hear it!
Anyways, it will always be my secret (not so secret) shame that I've watched almost 3/4 worth (soon to be all) of the Glee episodes ever made in the past 4 days. Yes. My life is this sad right now. I miss school so much!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Learning to Live, Laugh, and Love
Life has so many twists and turns. If I look back a year ago I would've never thought that I would've made it to where I am now. I have all the happiness in the world and everything that anyone could ever hope for. I've learned a lot as the years go by but mostly I've learned how to live, how to laugh, and how to love.
I've never lived as much in my entire life than in some of these cherished moments:
-Running from the massive tides of the Pacific Ocean at 1 a.m. Including getting swept under and my phone stolen.
-Spending an hour (mostly on my rear end) trying to do my first cartwheel.
-My very first solo performance and trusting myself enough to just sing.
-Blasting the radio as high as possible and driving below the speed limit just to enjoy the view.
-Running through the sprinklers, getting soaked, slow dancing to a cheesy country song, and then kissing my first love.
-Making it up to the top of the Y and looking over one of the most beautiful valleys I've ever seen and spotting the most temples I possibly could.
-Swinging underneath the most star-filled sky of my life and enjoying the midnight breeze.
-Spending a week with my best friend and realizing how blessed I am to have that experience with a few of the greatest people I've ever known.
-Chasing around my little sisters until we're all out of breath.
Here are some moments of pure laughter and joy:
-Any moment with my friend Trevor. I never stop laughing.
-Playing card games with my family and laughing so hard that Mt. Dew came out my nose.
-Tackle football in the snow with my high school choir friends.
-"STEEEEEEVE!"
-Brandy: "Oh no that poor pigeon doesn't have a left foot!" Ted: "Man that's so LAME!"
-Hearing my friend Amanda laugh. It's contagious.
-Watching the Youtube video of Glozel waxing her armpits with the S.O.F.F. girls.
-Directing my very first Choir.
Moments of pure Love:
-Being held in the arms of one you love while you do nothing else but be with each other.
-When a dear friend of mine got up during sacrament meeting and told me that she appreciated my friendship and that she loved me.
-The best hug of my life with my very best friend where I hugged him and he held my head to his chest.
-Sitting on a piano bench next to said best friend and realized how much he meant to me while he played a piece he wrote and I couldn't help but cry.
-My baptism.
-The first time, and every time I bare my testimony.
-When my parents wrote me a letter expressing how much I meant to them and why they love me so much.
-Family hugs and family prayers.
-Every moment I spend singing.
-Every moment I spend with those that I love.
I've been so blessed in my life and I'm so grateful that I've had these experiences to learn and grow. I love life and I love that I get the chance to keep living and just being Brandy!
I've never lived as much in my entire life than in some of these cherished moments:
-Running from the massive tides of the Pacific Ocean at 1 a.m. Including getting swept under and my phone stolen.
-Spending an hour (mostly on my rear end) trying to do my first cartwheel.
-My very first solo performance and trusting myself enough to just sing.
-Blasting the radio as high as possible and driving below the speed limit just to enjoy the view.
-Running through the sprinklers, getting soaked, slow dancing to a cheesy country song, and then kissing my first love.
-Making it up to the top of the Y and looking over one of the most beautiful valleys I've ever seen and spotting the most temples I possibly could.
-Swinging underneath the most star-filled sky of my life and enjoying the midnight breeze.
-Spending a week with my best friend and realizing how blessed I am to have that experience with a few of the greatest people I've ever known.
-Chasing around my little sisters until we're all out of breath.
Here are some moments of pure laughter and joy:
-Any moment with my friend Trevor. I never stop laughing.
-Playing card games with my family and laughing so hard that Mt. Dew came out my nose.
-Tackle football in the snow with my high school choir friends.
-"STEEEEEEVE!"
-Brandy: "Oh no that poor pigeon doesn't have a left foot!" Ted: "Man that's so LAME!"
-Hearing my friend Amanda laugh. It's contagious.
-Watching the Youtube video of Glozel waxing her armpits with the S.O.F.F. girls.
-Directing my very first Choir.
Moments of pure Love:
-Being held in the arms of one you love while you do nothing else but be with each other.
-When a dear friend of mine got up during sacrament meeting and told me that she appreciated my friendship and that she loved me.
-The best hug of my life with my very best friend where I hugged him and he held my head to his chest.
-Sitting on a piano bench next to said best friend and realized how much he meant to me while he played a piece he wrote and I couldn't help but cry.
-My baptism.
-The first time, and every time I bare my testimony.
-When my parents wrote me a letter expressing how much I meant to them and why they love me so much.
-Family hugs and family prayers.
-Every moment I spend singing.
-Every moment I spend with those that I love.
I've been so blessed in my life and I'm so grateful that I've had these experiences to learn and grow. I love life and I love that I get the chance to keep living and just being Brandy!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Loverly :)
So now that I've written about things that I don't understand, I figured I should write about things that I love. This will probably be a very long list since I'm very loving.
-Opera and Bel Canto singers. Especially Bryn Terfel and Luciano Pavarotti.
-Dancing in the rain and/or playing in sprinklers.
-Being at the ocean and running from the tides. (Even if I loose my phone in the process.)
-My S.O.F.F. Girls! They are stinkin amazing and have been there for me ever since I was a young lass.
-Twirling in flowy skirts
-Putting on lots of make up, curling as many of my hairs as possible, and putting on my nicest dress just to feel pretty and to practice my operas.
-Pork Salad. Enough said.
-Feeling like an adult but still being a kid inside.
-Disney Channel. Stupid shows but no gross and sketchy topics or commercials. Perfect.
-My best friends.
-My Chamber Choir Family
-My Actual Family <3
There are plenty of more things that I love but I have to run to class!
-Opera and Bel Canto singers. Especially Bryn Terfel and Luciano Pavarotti.
-Dancing in the rain and/or playing in sprinklers.
-Being at the ocean and running from the tides. (Even if I loose my phone in the process.)
-My S.O.F.F. Girls! They are stinkin amazing and have been there for me ever since I was a young lass.
-Twirling in flowy skirts
-Putting on lots of make up, curling as many of my hairs as possible, and putting on my nicest dress just to feel pretty and to practice my operas.
-Pork Salad. Enough said.
-Feeling like an adult but still being a kid inside.
-Disney Channel. Stupid shows but no gross and sketchy topics or commercials. Perfect.
-My best friends.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Will I Ever Know?
There are several things that I will never understand.
1. Advanced Calculus.
2. The female mind. (Yes, I realize that as a female I should be able to somewhat understand my own mind, but I don't.)
3. Why people have to send you angry emails revealing feelings that they kept concealed two years ago and then make you feel like crap because you never figured out that something was wrong and that you needed to fix it. Yes I see that you need to vent hurt feelings. But does it really make you feel better to hurt us too?
4. Why I struggle to get dates. Everyone always says how I'm amazing at flirting and that I'm really pretty and nice, yet it doesn't seem to deliver.
5. Why I can't just let people go. If someone makes it perfectly clear that they don't want me, why can't I just accept it and move on?
6. The full spectrum of Infinity/Eternity.
7. Why I'm a sucker for multi-colored eyes and voices that make my heart melt.
8. What the best part about Cafe Rio Pork Salad is.
9. Why I'm completely and hopelessly in love with music, and people that bring music into my life.
There are most certainly more things that I will never know or understand, but those are the things which have been weighing heavily on my mind. (Particularly #3, 4, 5, and 9) So the real question is what do I do now? Where do I go from here? Let's find out.
1. Advanced Calculus.
2. The female mind. (Yes, I realize that as a female I should be able to somewhat understand my own mind, but I don't.)
3. Why people have to send you angry emails revealing feelings that they kept concealed two years ago and then make you feel like crap because you never figured out that something was wrong and that you needed to fix it. Yes I see that you need to vent hurt feelings. But does it really make you feel better to hurt us too?
4. Why I struggle to get dates. Everyone always says how I'm amazing at flirting and that I'm really pretty and nice, yet it doesn't seem to deliver.
5. Why I can't just let people go. If someone makes it perfectly clear that they don't want me, why can't I just accept it and move on?
6. The full spectrum of Infinity/Eternity.
7. Why I'm a sucker for multi-colored eyes and voices that make my heart melt.
8. What the best part about Cafe Rio Pork Salad is.
9. Why I'm completely and hopelessly in love with music, and people that bring music into my life.
There are most certainly more things that I will never know or understand, but those are the things which have been weighing heavily on my mind. (Particularly #3, 4, 5, and 9) So the real question is what do I do now? Where do I go from here? Let's find out.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
One Way Discussion
First of all I'd like to propose that you can never be too old for sponge rollers. Exhibit A:
Second of all I'd like to discuss (rather just type to my computer and not expect any replies back) my frustration with this cold that I have.
I am frustrated with my cold. I have two or three concerts every week this month. This is no bueno.
That was quite the one-way discussion right?!
Third I would like to publicly state that I have no idea what to do with my love life! The past seven months were spent being head over heels for someone to no avail, so now I'm trying to build a bridge and get over it. This specific bridge happens to be very attractive and I happen to see him everyday, so I really need to lay down the moves to have this guy work out! I'd rather not waste my time again.
So what should I do?
I haven't the slightest idea.
We'll see how this goes. Wish me luck!
P.S. If ye havest any tips or various flirtation devices that ye wouldst be willing to share, please...PLEASE...(pretty) PLEASE share!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Concerts? Concerts.
Here's a list of all seven of the concerts I have left this semester!
-April 10, Sunday, UVU Masterworks Chorale, the Cathedral de Madeline in SLC @ 8pm (free)
-April 12, Tuesday, UVU Chamber Choir, The Orem Public Library @ 7pm (free)
-April 16, Saturday, UVU Chamber Choir, Springville Art Museum @ 3pm (free)
-April 23, Saturday, UVU Chamber Choir and guests, the Ragan Theatre at UVU @ 7:30pm ($5 for students, $7 for everyone else)
-May 1, Sunday, UVU Chamber Choir, UT State Capital Building Rotenda (Holocaust Memorial) in SLC @2pm (free)
-May 12, Thursday, Wasatch Chorale, Covey Center for the Arts in Provo @ 7:30pm ($5 for students, $7 for everyone else)
As you can see it's a bit stressful... It's a good thing I love to sing!
-April 10, Sunday, UVU Masterworks Chorale, the Cathedral de Madeline in SLC @ 8pm (free)
-April 12, Tuesday, UVU Chamber Choir, The Orem Public Library @ 7pm (free)
-April 16, Saturday, UVU Chamber Choir, Springville Art Museum @ 3pm (free)
-April 23, Saturday, UVU Chamber Choir and guests, the Ragan Theatre at UVU @ 7:30pm ($5 for students, $7 for everyone else)
-May 1, Sunday, UVU Chamber Choir, UT State Capital Building Rotenda (Holocaust Memorial) in SLC @2pm (free)
-May 12, Thursday, Wasatch Chorale, Covey Center for the Arts in Provo @ 7:30pm ($5 for students, $7 for everyone else)
As you can see it's a bit stressful... It's a good thing I love to sing!
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Makin me Some Cookies
So yesterday I was bored and decided that I needed to do something that would take my mind off things, and fill my stomach. Obviously cookies were the best option.
I looked through my pantry to scout out my various flavor options and found only one choice - sugar cookies. I kept looking to see if I could spice up my only option and found my weakness. Rolos. I had discovered something amazing! I could put the rolos inside the cookies! (Yes, I realize that I am not the first person to think of this, but I thought myself very crafty for at least a few seconds.)
So I turned on my oven, got out all the ingredients, and was ready to bake it up!
Of course I was short one egg... To the Store!!! (Unfortunately the store was not too thrilling, so we'll skip over that part.)
I come back to a super warm oven and dough that was left sitting out. Brilliant.
I stirred up the cookie batter, and discovered something amazing! Again! I happened to have colored sugar in my pantry too! So of course I rolled the cookies in red and blue sugar. Duh.
I ended up with the ugliest cookies of my life. But all that matters is that I had fun making them, right?
I looked through my pantry to scout out my various flavor options and found only one choice - sugar cookies. I kept looking to see if I could spice up my only option and found my weakness. Rolos. I had discovered something amazing! I could put the rolos inside the cookies! (Yes, I realize that I am not the first person to think of this, but I thought myself very crafty for at least a few seconds.)
So I turned on my oven, got out all the ingredients, and was ready to bake it up!
Of course I was short one egg... To the Store!!! (Unfortunately the store was not too thrilling, so we'll skip over that part.)
I come back to a super warm oven and dough that was left sitting out. Brilliant.
I stirred up the cookie batter, and discovered something amazing! Again! I happened to have colored sugar in my pantry too! So of course I rolled the cookies in red and blue sugar. Duh.
I ended up with the ugliest cookies of my life. But all that matters is that I had fun making them, right?
Monday, March 28, 2011
Chamber Choir Tour 2011
Hello all! This is my very first post, my very first blog, ever! I'm excited. So naturally (seeing as how it is my first post) I took some time to contemplate my first topic. I figured it was appropriate to blog about how I just got back from spending a week in San Francisco with the Utah Valley University Chamber Choir. I had a blast! We got to perform in a lot of really cool spaces, we got to see places like China Town and the Oakland LDS Temple, and we got to eat some of the best food in this universe. The 40+ hours on a bus were totally worth it.
-Tuesday: Bus ride. That's about it unfortunately.
-Wednesday: Golden Gate Bridge, China Town, Oakland Temple, Delicious Tongan feast (best part), and perform for seven of the LDS stakes in Oakland.
-Thursday: Lombard Street, Union Square, the Cheesecake Factory, Perform at Grace Cathedral (seven second reverb!), Berkeley College workshop, Indian food in Berkeley (yet another first).
-Friday: Coit Tower, Perform at Mission Dolores, Workshop with Ragnar Bohlin, Mack's Opera Cafe, and going to see the San Francisco Symphony perform Bach's B Minor Mass (Best part of the whole tour!), going to see the ocean again for the first time in 6 years.
P.S. Friday was the most thrilling, yummy, stimulating, and heartbreaking day of tour (In that order). It was on this day that I mourned for the loss of my phone to the mighty Pacific Ocean.Saturday:
-Saturday: Dripping wet Park, Pier 49 (Magnus the Sea Lion), the best fish and chips of my life, Recording at the Chapel of Chimes, Fenton's Ice Cream (or as Ryan likes to call it "Isssssse Cweammmm!"
-Sunday: Perform at our Professor's church, make the long trek back to Utah!
-Monday, 5:30 A.M: Finally arrive back and sleep through all my morning classes.
So instead of still lingering on the delicious memories that tour has left me with, I have come back to snow, lots of homework, lots of laundry, and a whole lot of stress. Doesn't matter though, because I got to spend a week partyin' it up with my best friends and amazing magical musical moments! I love my life :)
-Tuesday: Bus ride. That's about it unfortunately.
-Wednesday: Golden Gate Bridge, China Town, Oakland Temple, Delicious Tongan feast (best part), and perform for seven of the LDS stakes in Oakland.
-Thursday: Lombard Street, Union Square, the Cheesecake Factory, Perform at Grace Cathedral (seven second reverb!), Berkeley College workshop, Indian food in Berkeley (yet another first).
-Friday: Coit Tower, Perform at Mission Dolores, Workshop with Ragnar Bohlin, Mack's Opera Cafe, and going to see the San Francisco Symphony perform Bach's B Minor Mass (Best part of the whole tour!), going to see the ocean again for the first time in 6 years.
P.S. Friday was the most thrilling, yummy, stimulating, and heartbreaking day of tour (In that order). It was on this day that I mourned for the loss of my phone to the mighty Pacific Ocean.Saturday:
-Saturday: Dripping wet Park, Pier 49 (Magnus the Sea Lion), the best fish and chips of my life, Recording at the Chapel of Chimes, Fenton's Ice Cream (or as Ryan likes to call it "Isssssse Cweammmm!"
-Sunday: Perform at our Professor's church, make the long trek back to Utah!
-Monday, 5:30 A.M: Finally arrive back and sleep through all my morning classes.
So instead of still lingering on the delicious memories that tour has left me with, I have come back to snow, lots of homework, lots of laundry, and a whole lot of stress. Doesn't matter though, because I got to spend a week partyin' it up with my best friends and amazing magical musical moments! I love my life :)
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