It's been a very long time my friends. Life has been busy busy, and I feel somewhat bad that my blog got neglected for the past month or so. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm what to write....
Let's talk about my performance life. It's been fantastic - I've had either concerts or recitals at least once a week. I'm very blessed to be able to eat up the musical lifestyle. Yum. For a time in my life I wasn't sure if music was what I really wanted to do with my life. I was seriously debating switching my major (to who knows what) or just dropping out to go to cosmetology school. That would've been a mistake. After some soul searching, I rekindled my passion for music so I feel can finally feel content with where I am right now.
I'm thankful to be happy with my life. I also went through a rough patch in which I felt like my life wasn't progressing. I was unhappy and felt as if I had no direction. But, after a lovely talk with my amazing Bishop, the fog I was living in felt lifted. I just needed to see the bigger picture.
Boys? Oh boys. I have four best best friends (or brothers rather) that fill my days with laughter. I love each of them so much, but I know that someday they all can't be my best friends. When I'm all old and married I want my husband to be my best friend. No offense to the boys, but you all can't be my husbands unless polyandry is brought to the United States. Even then it'd still be icky. Other than all of my brothers, I do still like other guys too. I finally met someone that gives me hope for the future, makes me want to try harder, and I feel more like myself whenever we talk than when I talk to anyone else. I like those feelings :)
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Learning Experiences
So I've realized that my blog has turned into my personal-gossip column. With myself. So be it I guess.
It's interesting to see how much I've learned about myself in the past week alone. It mainly started last wednesday when I was practically forced to face myself honestly, and admit that I have a poor self-image and that one of my biggest priorities right now is to learn to love myself now. So I spent around five hours that night reminding myself why I am the way that I am, that the person who I am is a person that is worthwhile, and that the Lord loves me. (That involved candles, Christmas lights, the scriptures, and love notes from parents and friends.) I highly recommend spending a little time to get to know yourself again.
I found out the next day that the afore mentioned A-Train has a "thing" for a dear friend of mine. I then learned that I have a hard time letting go, but once I've let go, I'm usually alright.
General Conference goes by, and I learned (or remembered rather), that the Gospel is the most uplifting thing in my life and my best source for happiness.
Now for those who don't know, I'm a fast mover. I like to be liking someone. And now that I've almost completely let go of A-Train, my back-up option has moved to slot number 1. So on wednesday, (as in three days ago), we went on a date. It was one of the best, if not greatest, date of my life. I fell, and I fell hard. Harder than all of the other times that is. I learned that I was able to actually picture myself with someone, I was able to be myself with someone, and we were happy. After every time that I see him, I always think to myself "I want to marry someone like that."
So today I hung out with him before our class started, all was peachy and as great as I remembered. After class, I see him talking to a friend of mine from high school. I heard him ask her what she was doing tonight. After seeing the look on my face, a friend of mine decided to be my spy and listen to the rest of the conversation. He got her phone number, address, and they had made plans for the night.
What did I learn from that? I get hurt easily. I probably don't read people very well. I instantly started comparing myself to the other girl, and my recently built up self esteem faltered.
My friends consoled me, told me that he was simply "trying on other pairs of shoes," and that he could very likely still be interested in me even though he asked my friend out.
But I don't feel much better. I fell practically in love in around a week and a half. I was practically destroyed within minutes.
Interesting how life plays out sometimes.
It's interesting to see how much I've learned about myself in the past week alone. It mainly started last wednesday when I was practically forced to face myself honestly, and admit that I have a poor self-image and that one of my biggest priorities right now is to learn to love myself now. So I spent around five hours that night reminding myself why I am the way that I am, that the person who I am is a person that is worthwhile, and that the Lord loves me. (That involved candles, Christmas lights, the scriptures, and love notes from parents and friends.) I highly recommend spending a little time to get to know yourself again.
I found out the next day that the afore mentioned A-Train has a "thing" for a dear friend of mine. I then learned that I have a hard time letting go, but once I've let go, I'm usually alright.
General Conference goes by, and I learned (or remembered rather), that the Gospel is the most uplifting thing in my life and my best source for happiness.
Now for those who don't know, I'm a fast mover. I like to be liking someone. And now that I've almost completely let go of A-Train, my back-up option has moved to slot number 1. So on wednesday, (as in three days ago), we went on a date. It was one of the best, if not greatest, date of my life. I fell, and I fell hard. Harder than all of the other times that is. I learned that I was able to actually picture myself with someone, I was able to be myself with someone, and we were happy. After every time that I see him, I always think to myself "I want to marry someone like that."
So today I hung out with him before our class started, all was peachy and as great as I remembered. After class, I see him talking to a friend of mine from high school. I heard him ask her what she was doing tonight. After seeing the look on my face, a friend of mine decided to be my spy and listen to the rest of the conversation. He got her phone number, address, and they had made plans for the night.
What did I learn from that? I get hurt easily. I probably don't read people very well. I instantly started comparing myself to the other girl, and my recently built up self esteem faltered.
My friends consoled me, told me that he was simply "trying on other pairs of shoes," and that he could very likely still be interested in me even though he asked my friend out.
But I don't feel much better. I fell practically in love in around a week and a half. I was practically destroyed within minutes.
Interesting how life plays out sometimes.
Monday, September 26, 2011
More-Or-Less
Alright children, it's time for story time again. Worry not, I'll make this one somewhat brief.
So every time I see A-Train I blush really bad, mince my words, and make an idiot of myself. Awesome. Not the point though. There is another certain some one who I've known for a couple of months now that has me confused. For the sake of blogging, we'll call him Mr. More-or-Less.
About a month ago Mr. More-or-Less attempted to take me on a date. It was somewhat horrific. Ok, horrific wasn't a nice way to put it. On the list of worst dates ever, it wasn't all that terrible. But it wasn't all that great either. We kind of stop talking and hanging out as much afterwards. No skin off my back.
But then yesterday, out of the blue, he texts me and says "I think we need to spend more time together. I've missed you." Hmmm. Interesting. Either this man is lonely and thinks I'm desperate, or he's finally come to his senses. What the hey. I said "Sure, if you'd really like to try again."
Now he always wants to find excuses to spend time with me. I graced him with my presence tonight, and it was actually somewhat fun. We ate unhealthy things and then swung on the tallest swing-set I've ever seen in my life.
Problem? 1. I think a recently close friend of mine likes him too. (On the other hand, that's never really stopped me before, but this leads me into the next problem...) 2. A-Train. I think I like A-Train enough to not bother with Mr. More-or-Less and let the friend have him. 3. I think Mr. More-or-Less might like me more than I know.
Solution? No clue. But so far, I'm in favor of A-Train. I'll keep y'all posted though, don't worry. I have a concert on thursday and I'm out-of-my-skin excited to see A-Train in a Tux. Foreshadowing? I sure hope so :)
So every time I see A-Train I blush really bad, mince my words, and make an idiot of myself. Awesome. Not the point though. There is another certain some one who I've known for a couple of months now that has me confused. For the sake of blogging, we'll call him Mr. More-or-Less.
About a month ago Mr. More-or-Less attempted to take me on a date. It was somewhat horrific. Ok, horrific wasn't a nice way to put it. On the list of worst dates ever, it wasn't all that terrible. But it wasn't all that great either. We kind of stop talking and hanging out as much afterwards. No skin off my back.
But then yesterday, out of the blue, he texts me and says "I think we need to spend more time together. I've missed you." Hmmm. Interesting. Either this man is lonely and thinks I'm desperate, or he's finally come to his senses. What the hey. I said "Sure, if you'd really like to try again."
Now he always wants to find excuses to spend time with me. I graced him with my presence tonight, and it was actually somewhat fun. We ate unhealthy things and then swung on the tallest swing-set I've ever seen in my life.
Problem? 1. I think a recently close friend of mine likes him too. (On the other hand, that's never really stopped me before, but this leads me into the next problem...) 2. A-Train. I think I like A-Train enough to not bother with Mr. More-or-Less and let the friend have him. 3. I think Mr. More-or-Less might like me more than I know.
Solution? No clue. But so far, I'm in favor of A-Train. I'll keep y'all posted though, don't worry. I have a concert on thursday and I'm out-of-my-skin excited to see A-Train in a Tux. Foreshadowing? I sure hope so :)
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Party Barn?
It's that time again guys. It's time to tell you all about what's happened recently in the realm of boys and singing. (Man, this is like all my life consists of lately...)
So last night was Masterworks Chorale Retreat. We went up to the Party Barn in Mapleton, and boy, it was a party alright. (I spent a good portion of that afternoon beautifying myself just so I'd look super adorable because a certain someone would be there. Dumb but worth it.) The first thing we did when we all got up to the barn was eat. So I ate whatever I wanted. Boy it felt good. :D Then my friend and I decided to go for a lovely little stroll since there was a lake, deck, and canoes outback. Everyone else eventually followed. We then decided to take out one of the canoes, which was indeed a wise choice. That's when it started.
A certain highly attractive man whom I've mentioned before on this magical blog came into my life more prominently. For the sake of sake's, let's call him A-Train. (Not like that's his nickname or anything...) While M and I (Oooh look! Another nickname. I'm good at this.) were lingering on our canoe, A-Train had put on his swimsuit and asked for a ride over to the rope swing. Of course we obliged. Mmmmm I will forever love that rope swing, if ya know what I'm sayin'.
So then we actually started singing. In one of our pieces A-Train has a solo, which makes my life happy. Our director had us go in the loft to sing and we got to stand next to whomever we wanted. So naturally, I stood next to the soloist. That was an amazing moment. Not only does he got the looks, but he's got the voice too. Not too shabby so far.
Then we decided to play games as a choir. That was a blast! I sat next to my buddies All-Back, Uncle Joe, and A-Train of course. Yes, those names were all coded. You're Welcome. During the game there was a moment when just A-Train and I had act out an adverb. That was interesting... We soon after promised each other to never act in such a manner again.
Then we ate cake. Yum. Get ready guys, the sad part is coming up soon. Tissues in hand? K good, I'll continue.
This is when the big group split to do various activities. It was dark out, and the stars were amazing. So my adopted brother, Bear, and I decided to take out the canoes again. Yes, I do realize that I just said Brother Bear. That canoe ride was one of the best experiences of my life. We talked about our lives, our feelings, and then we sang in Italian together while the reflection in the lake shone brightly and a bonfire was only a few feet off. Beautiful. Yet part of me wished that I could share this moment with another special someone. So Brother Bear and I left and canoe to join the others at the campfire. A-Train was preoccupied with the guitar (Handsome: Check. Voice: Check. Guitar?! Too good to be true) so I waited a little while. I sang while he sang and played the song "Lucky" which is one of my favorites. Check. While A-Train was guitaring it up, I was chatting with a lovely soprano friend of mine, and that's when I realized that not only do I have a mongo-big crush on A-Train, but so do like half of the other girls in the choir. Great. They're all amazing and beautiful and stuff. :( I felt a bit discouraged. And by a bit, I mean a lot.
Now brace yourselves.
When A-Train was done with the guitar I went up to him and said "Hey, when one of the canoes is open, do you wanna go out on the lake?"
"Sure, that sounds like fun." He replied handsomely.
So we waited only like two minutes for someone to surrender a canoe. Then, right as I was about to get him and tell him there was a canoe open, my carpool says that we're leaving.
LAME!!!!!!!
A-Train was like "It's okay, I'm feelin' kinda bushed anyways." :( :( :( :( :(
So we left. And that was it.
So last night was Masterworks Chorale Retreat. We went up to the Party Barn in Mapleton, and boy, it was a party alright. (I spent a good portion of that afternoon beautifying myself just so I'd look super adorable because a certain someone would be there. Dumb but worth it.) The first thing we did when we all got up to the barn was eat. So I ate whatever I wanted. Boy it felt good. :D Then my friend and I decided to go for a lovely little stroll since there was a lake, deck, and canoes outback. Everyone else eventually followed. We then decided to take out one of the canoes, which was indeed a wise choice. That's when it started.
A certain highly attractive man whom I've mentioned before on this magical blog came into my life more prominently. For the sake of sake's, let's call him A-Train. (Not like that's his nickname or anything...) While M and I (Oooh look! Another nickname. I'm good at this.) were lingering on our canoe, A-Train had put on his swimsuit and asked for a ride over to the rope swing. Of course we obliged. Mmmmm I will forever love that rope swing, if ya know what I'm sayin'.
So then we actually started singing. In one of our pieces A-Train has a solo, which makes my life happy. Our director had us go in the loft to sing and we got to stand next to whomever we wanted. So naturally, I stood next to the soloist. That was an amazing moment. Not only does he got the looks, but he's got the voice too. Not too shabby so far.
Then we decided to play games as a choir. That was a blast! I sat next to my buddies All-Back, Uncle Joe, and A-Train of course. Yes, those names were all coded. You're Welcome. During the game there was a moment when just A-Train and I had act out an adverb. That was interesting... We soon after promised each other to never act in such a manner again.
Then we ate cake. Yum. Get ready guys, the sad part is coming up soon. Tissues in hand? K good, I'll continue.
This is when the big group split to do various activities. It was dark out, and the stars were amazing. So my adopted brother, Bear, and I decided to take out the canoes again. Yes, I do realize that I just said Brother Bear. That canoe ride was one of the best experiences of my life. We talked about our lives, our feelings, and then we sang in Italian together while the reflection in the lake shone brightly and a bonfire was only a few feet off. Beautiful. Yet part of me wished that I could share this moment with another special someone. So Brother Bear and I left and canoe to join the others at the campfire. A-Train was preoccupied with the guitar (Handsome: Check. Voice: Check. Guitar?! Too good to be true) so I waited a little while. I sang while he sang and played the song "Lucky" which is one of my favorites. Check. While A-Train was guitaring it up, I was chatting with a lovely soprano friend of mine, and that's when I realized that not only do I have a mongo-big crush on A-Train, but so do like half of the other girls in the choir. Great. They're all amazing and beautiful and stuff. :( I felt a bit discouraged. And by a bit, I mean a lot.
Now brace yourselves.
When A-Train was done with the guitar I went up to him and said "Hey, when one of the canoes is open, do you wanna go out on the lake?"
"Sure, that sounds like fun." He replied handsomely.
So we waited only like two minutes for someone to surrender a canoe. Then, right as I was about to get him and tell him there was a canoe open, my carpool says that we're leaving.
LAME!!!!!!!
A-Train was like "It's okay, I'm feelin' kinda bushed anyways." :( :( :( :( :(
So we left. And that was it.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Why I'm a Happy Little Camper
I slightly altered the name of my blog. It is currently: Awake, Love, Sing! Why? Oh, I'll tell ya why.
Awake:
Sometimes I need to remind myself to wake up every morning. But most of the time, I need to remind myself to be fully awake during class and/or throughout my ever-tiring days.
Love:
Let's be serious, most of my blog discusses my love life or just love in general. I figured it was about time to add love into the title because it is such an important part of my life. Worry not, we'll retouch this subject shortly.
Sing:
I am constantly singing. Whether I make sound with my throat or if the music just plays on in my heart, it will always be one of the biggest parts of me. How can I keep from Singing?
So back to the love portion. I found me a new man to lavish my pretended affections upon. Is he attractive? Definitely. Can he sing? Ahhhhh yeah. Is he like one of the most amazing people ever? Heck YES! Am I a little obsessed? Probably. Is it a little unhealthy? Probably more so. Do I care? OF COURSE NOT! :DDDDDDDDDD I'm a happy little camper alright :)
Awake:
Sometimes I need to remind myself to wake up every morning. But most of the time, I need to remind myself to be fully awake during class and/or throughout my ever-tiring days.
Love:
Let's be serious, most of my blog discusses my love life or just love in general. I figured it was about time to add love into the title because it is such an important part of my life. Worry not, we'll retouch this subject shortly.
Sing:
I am constantly singing. Whether I make sound with my throat or if the music just plays on in my heart, it will always be one of the biggest parts of me. How can I keep from Singing?
So back to the love portion. I found me a new man to lavish my pretended affections upon. Is he attractive? Definitely. Can he sing? Ahhhhh yeah. Is he like one of the most amazing people ever? Heck YES! Am I a little obsessed? Probably. Is it a little unhealthy? Probably more so. Do I care? OF COURSE NOT! :DDDDDDDDDD I'm a happy little camper alright :)
Friday, September 2, 2011
Ich bin schrecklich prep Deutsch
Wie geht's Welt?! (What's up World?!)
Ich sprachen Deutsch. Ein wenig. (I'm speaking German.) (Somewhat.)
Ok just kidding, I suck at German. But hey, give it time, it's only been a week! Speaking of week, this past one was my first week of the Fall Semester. How did it go, you ask? Well my friends, you just opened a huge can of worms. Ein wenig.
My classes are not that terrible actually. I've dropped a couple since the semester's started, but that's because they were stupid. My quest for finishing a four year degree in three years might not happen... It'll probably end up being more like five years. I have friends in all of my classes (except my 11 o'clock institute class, which I ended up missing anyways). I liked to be stretched and I'm hoping to be able to excel in classes.
Now on to the fun part. Boys. ;)
No one's allowed to judge me for this, but I keep a list of boys that I'm interested in and I update it almost weekly. It's practical for me because this way I keep my options open, I'm not super obsessed with one person, and if one of them hurts me they just get bumped off the list and replaced with someone else. Nothing's really happened this week in the realm of dating except meeting new guys and hanging out with some guys from the list. Someday I won't need a list anymore and I'll find the man I'm supposed to be with forever and ever. But for now, the list will suffice to cure the loneliness :)
I don't really know what to talk about anymore so this must be the end of my post. Wish me luck on my new semester! Gute nacht meine freunds!
Ich sprachen Deutsch. Ein wenig. (I'm speaking German.) (Somewhat.)
Ok just kidding, I suck at German. But hey, give it time, it's only been a week! Speaking of week, this past one was my first week of the Fall Semester. How did it go, you ask? Well my friends, you just opened a huge can of worms. Ein wenig.
My classes are not that terrible actually. I've dropped a couple since the semester's started, but that's because they were stupid. My quest for finishing a four year degree in three years might not happen... It'll probably end up being more like five years. I have friends in all of my classes (except my 11 o'clock institute class, which I ended up missing anyways). I liked to be stretched and I'm hoping to be able to excel in classes.
Now on to the fun part. Boys. ;)
No one's allowed to judge me for this, but I keep a list of boys that I'm interested in and I update it almost weekly. It's practical for me because this way I keep my options open, I'm not super obsessed with one person, and if one of them hurts me they just get bumped off the list and replaced with someone else. Nothing's really happened this week in the realm of dating except meeting new guys and hanging out with some guys from the list. Someday I won't need a list anymore and I'll find the man I'm supposed to be with forever and ever. But for now, the list will suffice to cure the loneliness :)
I don't really know what to talk about anymore so this must be the end of my post. Wish me luck on my new semester! Gute nacht meine freunds!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Party! Party! PARTY!
I had the house all to myself last night, my parents and little sisters decided to go play in Park City for the evening. I was determined not to be all alone this time, as I was when the afore mentioned members of the family went camping. So all day long I scoured through all of my friends (even some people that aren't my friends) to find someone to hang out with tonight. I found only one. And a half - he didn't get off work until 9:30ish.
So I wait for my beloved friend to be ready, and while I'm waiting I decided to stuff myself with some yummy Costa Vida. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. My bestie is then finally ready to play around 8 p.m. so we go up the canyon a little and took a small hike (Small for him, incredibly strenuous for me). What a lovely walk we had, it was so nice to be able to catch up with such a good friend while buggies flew up my shirt and I almost died.
Around 9ish we came back to the beginning of the trail when we mutually decided that he needed food. So where else would we go other than JCW's?!
That was when our other dear friend came and we all caught up with one another while partaking of the happiness that is JCW's. I took my friend home, managed to get myself lost in downtown Provo (which was absolutely dumb because I only had to turn once to find my way back to state street yet I missed it!), and took myself back to my empty house.
So naturally, in an empty house around midnight, any self-respecting music major would turn up the electric piano as high as possible and play to their heart's content. That's just what I did of course.
About an hour later I had my own personal dance party, then I took the longest bubble bath I've ever taken since I was just a wee lass. Around 2 a.m. I decided I was hungry again, so I made myself some Spongebob Squarepants Macaroni and Cheese (thank goodness those Kraft people are smart and made the packet that contains the cheese powder water-proof, because I totally dumped it into my boiling water - the time must've gotten to my head). Around 2:30ish blow-dried my lucious locks, and around 3 a.m. watch the Romantic Comedy of my choice.
Thank goodness I didn't have anything going on early in the morning. This will probably never happen again, so I'm way glad I took advantage of it!
So I wait for my beloved friend to be ready, and while I'm waiting I decided to stuff myself with some yummy Costa Vida. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. My bestie is then finally ready to play around 8 p.m. so we go up the canyon a little and took a small hike (Small for him, incredibly strenuous for me). What a lovely walk we had, it was so nice to be able to catch up with such a good friend while buggies flew up my shirt and I almost died.
Around 9ish we came back to the beginning of the trail when we mutually decided that he needed food. So where else would we go other than JCW's?!
That was when our other dear friend came and we all caught up with one another while partaking of the happiness that is JCW's. I took my friend home, managed to get myself lost in downtown Provo (which was absolutely dumb because I only had to turn once to find my way back to state street yet I missed it!), and took myself back to my empty house.
So naturally, in an empty house around midnight, any self-respecting music major would turn up the electric piano as high as possible and play to their heart's content. That's just what I did of course.
About an hour later I had my own personal dance party, then I took the longest bubble bath I've ever taken since I was just a wee lass. Around 2 a.m. I decided I was hungry again, so I made myself some Spongebob Squarepants Macaroni and Cheese (thank goodness those Kraft people are smart and made the packet that contains the cheese powder water-proof, because I totally dumped it into my boiling water - the time must've gotten to my head). Around 2:30ish blow-dried my lucious locks, and around 3 a.m. watch the Romantic Comedy of my choice.
Thank goodness I didn't have anything going on early in the morning. This will probably never happen again, so I'm way glad I took advantage of it!
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